Friday, May 25, 2012

Poetic License Horoscope for May 25-31


Gemini (May 19-June 21): After having four kids, my sister had her tubes tied. She always said she wouldn’t be surprised if her operation was one of the .5 percent that didn’t work. Turns out, she was still pretty surprised (but overjoyed). Get ready for blessing as lavish and shocking as hers.

Cancer (June 22-July 23): On last week’s Girls, Hannah took a trip home and caught a glimpse of what life in her hometown would’ve been like if she’d stayed. For one thing, guys there don’t talk dirty enough. Take a moment to appreciate the many and varied benefits of how far you’ve traveled.

Leo (July 24-Aug. 23): Whatever new hobby you’re working on, you’re about to be moved up from the beginner class to the intermediate level. Give yourself a hug, a gold star, a butterscotch sundae and a backrub. You deserve every reward.

Virgo (Aug. 24-Sept. 23): You keep dreaming of people you’ve lost, reuniting, taking their hands, visiting for Christmas. Whatever is missing is drifting towards you like a misty ex in a dream. Take his hand and go forward.

Libra (Sept. 24-Oct. 21): (Kind of a meta-scope) Looking at the horoscopes from last year is kind of melancholy—I was in love with a Libra who’s long gone. I’m glad that at least there’s art to preserve temporary love, make it a little bit permanent.

Scorpio (Oct. 22-Nov. 22): My therapist says it is possible to learn not to cry for hours about the everyday insensitivities that are part of life. If I learn this, I will have all kinds of extra time. I think I will use it for snuggling.

Sagittarius (Nov. 23-Dec. 22): Break up with “Whatever You Like” by T.I. and start going out with “So Good” by B.O.B. Always choose the song in when the Shorty gets more choices.

Capricorn (Dec. 23-Jan. 20): In the classroom I am observing, students are trying to show that they are “ready for second grade.” If they prove they are, they get a badge to wear around all day. You’ve earned your “Ready for whatever comes next” badge. Wear it proudly.

Aquarius (Jan. 21-Feb. 19): Sometimes you have to hunker down and be a grown up. Other times (like this week) you should do the opposite. Throw a tantrum, play hooky, stay home and read a novel under the covers. You’ve earned it by being so good the rest of the time.

Pisces (Feb. 20-March 20): To the Pisces turning her guest room into a studio: good for you. I’ll gladly take the air mattress so that you can have space to make bird-print pillows, write poems, or stare dreamily out the window. Can’t wait to see what you’ll come up with.

Aries (March 21-April 18):  My favorite episodes of Mad Med are the ones where Don hangs out with women as friends. Put on your old-timey hat and go get drunk with a gorgeous Joan-esque buddy. But unlike don, take a cab home.

Taurus (April 19-May 18): I had a dream about you. We were visiting you for Christmas. I took your hand and introduced you to every single person in my whole family. You were waiting by the computer to hear back about a very special opportunity. Good luck! 

Monday, May 21, 2012

Summer Fun Poetry Class!



Hooray!

It's almost summer, and that means it's time to join your pals for poetry fun! We'll be doing lots of playful activities that'll help you end up with at least 6 new poems by the end! The classes are open to all skill levels.

When: 6 Wednesdays beginning June 6. (skipping Independence Day) 7:30-9:30pm.

Where: Our lovely apartment in Germantown. (Hope you aren't allergic to cats...)

How Much: 90$ for all 6 sessions (includes snacks) Walk-ins, 15$ (If you are unable to pay, we should be able to work things out, just ask!)

Give me a call if you have any questions: (215) 432-4036.

Thanks,
Jane

Jane Cassady probably wants to hug you. She writes “Poetic License Horoscopes” for Sibling Rivalry Press, The Legendary, and Critical Mass, the Philadelphia City Paper’s arts and culture blog. Her poems “In 1992,” “Almost Immediately,” “It Got Better” and “For the Comfort of Automated Phrases” can be heard on Indiefeed: Performance Poetry. She has been featured indecomP, The Ballard Street Poetry Journal, Lavender Review, and other journals. She has performed at such venues as LouderArts in New York City, Valley Contemporary Poets in Los Angeles, and The Encyclopedia Show in Chicago. 

Friday, May 18, 2012

Poetic License Horoscope for May 17-24


Taurus (April 19-May 18): If there’s someplace you can go where everybody’s pretty and special and fun, go to there. You’ll fit right in and find exactly what you need!

Gemini (May 19-June 21): Last weekend, we spent a fair number of hours playing Wii Jeopardy with my family, and here’s what I think: It’s much more enjoyable on the easy setting. Alex Trebek is less fun without the mustache. My Mii is due for a makeover. The answers are less like questions every day. (Confidential to K.C:YAAAAAAAY!)

Cancer (June 22-July 23):  Next time it rains, play hooky and catch up on your pleasure reading. Take one or several naps—you need to catch up on your dreaming to defragment your subconscious and start anew.
Leo (July 24-Aug. 23): “Take my love, take my land/ Take me where I cannot stand/ I don't care, I'm still free/ You can't take the sky from me.” (Firefly theme song) It’s a good time for a rewatch, isn’t it, dear?

Virgo (Aug. 24-Sept. 23): Give gifts to your inner teenager. Write her letters to tell her she is worthy and pretty. Indulge in the power-ballads of the Nineties. To paraphrase Motley Crue, you’re on your way, you’re on your wa-aa-ay, home sweet home.

Libra (Sept. 24-Oct. 21): I like when I ask for request and people write entire predictions for me! Guest Libra Sam Richman says: "Your primal urges are pulling you into the forest and onto the dance floor. Keep listening to your body - there is ancient, inherited wisdom in it. Libras are all about heart, and the heart is often associated with sweetness & sensitivity, but it is also a muscular organ, and yours grows stronger every day."

Scorpio (Oct. 22-Nov. 22): It’s okay to crowd-source inspiration of you’re all out—ask your friends, both virtual and IRL, to send you love songs, attention, strength. They are sure to send exactly what you need.

Sagittarius (Nov. 23-Dec. 22): The answer to “Should I just go to sleep?” is usually “yes.” Go head, go to bed at 7:30 if you want to, you’ll wake up feeling like it’s a holiday.

Capricorn (Dec. 23-Jan. 20): Try someplace new. Take your book and a notebook. Write something or nothing. Read the bulletin board or stare into space. Strike up a conversation with a stranger and find out all of his or her adventures.

Aquarius (Jan. 21-Feb. 19): Your keyword for the week is “open.” Open your heart. Open the window and smell the rain. Open a book and don’t close it again til morning. Open your plans up for something new.

Pisces (Feb. 20-March 20): “We are not what they think we are, we are golden, we are golden.” (MIKA) This week, MIKA is your spirit animal—be more like him, a silly, happy, lollipop dream.

Aries (March 21-April 18): “At some point one’s prayers will become/ so powerful that they ca shake a full tree/ in an orchard in heaven and fruit will roll/ through the streets in this world.” (Hafiz)

Friday, May 11, 2012

Poetic License Horoscope for May 11-17



Taurus (April 19-May 18): It’s okay to keep consoling yourself for what you’ve lost. It still aches, that’s okay, because it’s important. You are going to get exponential goodwill in return, runaway growth.


Gemini (May 19-June 21): Rewrite your past so that you have everything you’ve ever needed, so that you were always treated like a precious jewel every minute, no one ever let you be unsafe. I think you’ll find yourself missing what you’ve learned from all the crimps and deficiencies—these are their own weird luxury.

Cancer (June 22-July 23): “I wanna thank you, for letting me, be myself again.” (Sly and the Family Stone) the encouragement you give out will have such a huge effect, you may never know. Write letters to buoy up your friends’ spirit--it will always work.

Leo (July 24-Aug. 23): My wife watches Sherlock, so I asked her what we could learn from Benedict Cumberbatch. She said “Everything you need to know is almost right in front of you.” Okay—open your eyes to the clues.

Virgo (Aug. 24-Sept. 23): On last week’s Mad Men, Megan left the agency to follow her dream of being an actress; It’s the same for you, except you don’t have to quit anything. Just follow the path you’re on now, glide along your trajectory—it’s that easy.


Libra (Sept. 24-Oct. 21): If you take a nice walk with a friend and see a bird you’ve never seen before, (say, for instance, a hermit thrush) take that as a sign that there are so many new, pretty little things ready to hop into your life, to show you their plumage. It’s okay to let them.

Scorpio (Oct. 22-Nov. 22): Make time for yourself, and make it special. Take yourself on dates to the fanciest restaurants, the grandest museums. Buy yourself flowers and chocolate pianos. Make yourself a mixtape as only you know how. Be the great love of your life, and you are sure to get lucky.

Sagittarius (Nov. 23-Dec. 22): Should you find yourself laughing or in tears or ecstatic at an inopportune moment, settle into it. Go ahead and be inappropriate—sometimes emotion trumps everything.  

Capricorn (Dec. 23-Jan. 20): I’ve been married almost nine years and I recently found out that my wife has a talent for rope bondage. Life is magical like that—everyone’s full of riches and secrets and mischief. Enjoy.

Aquarius (Jan. 21-Feb. 19): Don’t get Pretty Friend Syndrome. It isn’t always your friend’s job to be the belle of the ball—sometimes it’s you. Take your newfound confidence and use it to make genuine connections, to make a new life for yourself.

Pisces (Feb. 20-March 20): Be like Leslie Knope going after her doofus opponent in the city council debate. Let your passions speak for you, there is absolutely no reason to hold them back.

Aries (March 21-April 18):  To the Aries in a long-distance love affair—it’s worth it, isn’t it? How much love can be contained in a text? What kind of hot strange sex can you have over Skype? Right now you are both buzzing with potential, let it be so much.

Friday, May 4, 2012

Poetic License Horoscope for May 4-10




Taurus (April 19-May 18): To the Taurus waking up in a transformed body: good morning and congratulations. I’ve always said you are a genius at creating yourself, this is just more evidence. So much love, so many wishes, and millions of gentle hugs.

Gemini (May 19-June 21): To my brother, who wants to try rock climbing and maybe skydiving someday: I can’t wait to not do that, but if you do, listen closely to the safety lectures. get hold of the right kinds of carabiners. Hold on tight and do not break yourself.

Cancer (June 22-July 23): A few weeks ago at the Momentum conference, I went to a talk called “Spread Your Legs and Open Your Heart.” The leader prescribed drawing a hot bath for nine nights in a row and running a leaf or stone over your whole body. At first I balked at the first-world-adviceness of all those baths, but go ahead and try it.

Leo (July 24- Aug. 23): No matter how long you’ve known someone, they always still have more secret skills and new surprises. Let someone expand for you, you’ll be gratified for what you get.

Virgo (Aug. 24-Sept. 23):  Take whatever chance you can to shout down old bulies, old heartbreaks, or both. Write as many strongly worded  letters as it takes. Just when you think you might dissolve from anger, your heart will give in and open up.

Libra (Sept. 24-Oct. 21): Whenever you’re around, people are smiling. You don’t have to try to be pleasing or work very hard at all, just stand there next to them. And sometimes, let them give something back.

Scorpio (Oct. 22-Nov. 22): “It’s good if something gnaws at your innards until you come to terms with your real potential.” (Hafiz) It also helps if you gnaw back.

Sagittarius (Nov. 23-Dec 22): In last week’s Mad Men episode, Don tried to make Sally stay innocent by making her take off her makeup and go-go boots, but she learned a whole bunch about the world anyway. Don’t try to protect yourself so much, it’s okay.

Capricorn (Dec. 23-Jan. 20): The world is kind of a harsh place sometimes, it’s okay to fight it. Put on blankets, a blindfold, earplugs, and build yourself someplace safe. Cocoon there until you feel better.

Aquarius (Jan 21-Feb. 19): Make a list of all of your wishes again. I know I make you do this all the time, but it’s important. Each time you make your list, the wishes are clearer and brighter, and so are you!

Pisces (Feb. 20-March 20): Should you find yourself in the Duchamp room at the Philadelphia Museum of Art, take a little time to think about the body as a creativity machine that runs on sex, or something like that.

Aries (March 21-April 18): Every so often I have to say, I miss you and I wish you’d call. We were novices together and now we are a little less so. I still need you to send me merit badges for progress, still need to cheer on your every step.












Thursday, May 3, 2012

Also! It! Has! A! Cover!

Designed by Amy Lawson:

My! Book! Has! A! Spine!

For the past ten years, I have been dreaming of having a book with a spine. Sibling Rivalry Press made that dream come true today. For the Comfort of Automated Phrases comes out this summer, July 17. Stay tuned for events and more gushing!