Being Luna Lovegood

From Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows:

“Luna had decorated her bedroom ceiling with five beautifully painted faces: Harry, Ron, Hermione, Ginny, and Neville. They were not moving as the portraits at Hogwarts moved, but there was a certain magic about them all the same: Harry thought they breathed. What appeared to be fine golden chains wove all around the pictures, linking them together, but after examining them for a minute or two, Harry realized that the gold chains were actually one word, repeated a thousand times in golden ink: friends…friends…friends..”

I’m realizing that I’m not the only person I know who’d identify with that paragraph. I resolve to remember that.

Poetic License Horoscope for Dec 10-16

Poetic License Horoscope for Dec 10-16

Sagittarius (Nov. 23-Dec. 22): I realized last night that I’d been reading too much Harry Potter. I woke up stuffy and was trying to work out how to magic my nose better. For you, though, there’s no reason to cut down on the magical thinking.

Capricorn (Dec. 23-Jan. 20): “If we could gather all the electric eels from all around the world, we would be able to light up an unimaginably large Christmas tree,” - Kazuhiko Minawa. Harness your defenses for similarly festive uses.

Aquarius (Jan. 21-Feb. 19): In the HBO series, Bored to Death, the fictionalized Jonathan Ames has taken up detective work to help him through some writer’s block issues. Think of some inspiring side-jobs for yourself, Aquarius!

Pisces (Feb. 20-March 20): Happy graduation. A new network of treasure-mazes is set up for you. Keep your bright lamp-eyes and your brilliant sense of direction.

Aries (March 21-April 18): If you were a principle of Kwanzaa, you’d be Imani. You believe things into transparency, trust people into diamonds, know the weather as a series of constants. Good for you.

Taurus (April 19-May 18): It’s time to start thinking about your New Years resolutions. Yours should be lovely, small, and finite: plant more bulbs for daffodils, call instead of text. Spend more time looking at kittens.

Gemini (May 19-June 21): Meditate this week on the following question: Which Big Bang Theory character are you? Why?

Cancer (June 22-July 23): ): You are like Southern California weather: equal parts dependable and dramatic. Even if right now you’re all wildfire and mudslide, you’ll be sunny and 78 degrees soon enough.

Leo (July 24-Aug. 23): Fold up today and put it in your pocket. Sit down and peruse it when you get a quiet hour. Edit or illuminate as needed.

Virgo (Aug. 24-Sept. 23): In the wise words of Willow Smith, “Hop up out the bed/ turn (your) swag on /Pay no attention to them haters cuz we whip em off /and we ain't doing nothing wrong/so don't tell me nothing, i'm just tryna have fun /so keep the party jumping.” (That song is stuck in my head FOREVER due to preparations for my afterschool program’s talent show.)

Libra (Sept. 24-Oct. 21): A favorite Libra told me recently that I should never write a poem about math. I was immediately tempted with metaphors about constants and the dreamy romantic entanglements of polynomials.

Scorpio (Oct. 22-Nov. 22): My little niece and nephew have a fantastic magic trick: Shae says “I will now make this little boy disappear!” and puts a blanket over Kieran’s head. When she pulls off the blanket and yells “TADA!” he hightails it out of the room. I hope to someday make some art as great as that.

Harry Potter and the Fake Astrologer

SPOILER ALERT: If you’re one of those folks who are only watching the movies, you may want to read this … next July.

Sagittarius (Nov. 23-Dec. 22): You are Mrs. McGonagall! It seems like you should be in the Order of the Phoenix, but someone has to stay at school and be academically heroic — then kick some ass at the end. You are a master of Transfiguration, use it wisely.

Capricorn (Dec. 23-Jan. 20): Before Deathly Hallows came out, my sister had a “Trust Snape” bumper sticker on the back of her minivan. Dumbledore trusted him, and that was good enough for her.

Aquarius (Jan. 21-Feb. 19): You are Dobby, a free elf. You like to refer to yourself in the third person. You are loyal enough to bewitch bludgers and block the platform to keep Harry Potter from danger. You love your friends more than anything.

Pisces (Feb. 20-March 20): You are Molly Weasley, mistress of kitchen magic, high priestess of nagging, deliverer of the swift kick of justice. Your will is titanium, your heart is mush.

Aries (March 21-April 18): You are Remus Lupin! Even though you were distracted by your own werewolf troubles, you still took time to show Harry how to conjure a Patronus. Then Harry showed Dumbledore’s army, and the rest is history.

Taurus (April 19-May 18): Like Hagrid, you’ve got a soft spot for monsters. Be careful where you hide your dragons, sure, but no need to resort to the boredom of flobberworms.

Gemini (May 19-June 21): You are Hermione Granger. You are constantly wondering, “Hasn’t anyone else read Hogwarts, A History?” Luckily, you have.

Cancer (June 22-July 23): Like Mad Eye Moody, you’re very perceptive but you tend to catastrophise. Keep your 360 vision sharp and your sneakoscope at the ready, but really, try to find dome time to relax.

Leo (July 24-Aug. 23): You may have started off clumsy and forgetful, like Neville Longbottom, but your misfit status will mean that you’re one of the few students checking the Dumbledore’s Army communication coin thingie. You’ll be a key player in the resistance.

Virgo (Aug. 24-Sept. 23): A friend of mine told me that I am Luna Lovegood, which makes sense because she also thinks I make deals with rainbows. Luna’s a bit more new-agey than I am, but I’ll take it was a compliment. I can be helpful with exposition and explain to Harry about the Thestrals.

Libra (Sept. 24-Oct. 21): You are Nymphadora Tonks, registered metamorphmagus. You can shift your appearance all you want, but you’ll be a constant underneath that pink hair.

Scorpio (Oct. 22-Nov. 22): You’re as strong and as surly as Sirius Black. Watch out for shifty rats. Be ready to assume the form of a dog at any time. Remember that chocolate will offset the effects of the dementors.

20 Things That Caused Happiness, November 2010

1. Fuze events featuring Brian “Omni” Dillon, Omar Holmon, and Ian Khadan.
2. World War Cute: Otters v. Lions! (v. Kittens v. Sloths v. Puppies v. Bunnies…)
3. Indulging in bad Lolcat grammar with my little niece and Teh Itteh Bitteh Book of Kittehs. (Apologies to her grammatically correct parents! I agree with them! And yet!)
4. Family Mario Kart, even when Holden made me be Bowser instead of Peach. Also, Scrabble IRL!
5. Started rereading/re-viewing the Potters after our Deathly Hallows excursion with the Shaptowiczes.
6. Eating too many Bottle Caps during said excursion. (We’ll know we’ve made it when we can afford not to sneak candy into the movies. We’ll still do it though.)
7. Helping my pal Cristin prepare for her TED speech—so inspiring!
8. And SPEAKING of being inspired by Cristin, she won an NEA grant! Isn’t it great to see people who deserve success rewarded?
9. And! Previewing her new book!
10. Watching the rest of Veronica Mars, even if the ending isn’t an ending—somebody save Logan! Write a comic book or something!
11. Black Friday shopping with my sister and niece, and all of the subsequent napping.
12. Eggnog latte! (Decaf this year, but still!)
13. Doing acceptably in the Fuze IWPS final. Yay for getting to the second round, thanks to my coach/our IWPS rep Shappy!
14. Getting the horoscopes and some poems in The Legendary.
15. Writing some new poems!
16. Making my way through math class.
17. Awesome kid-art at work. (Plus we’re getting ready for our talent show!)
18. My ex-job blog posts were very healing.
19. TBTL’s lovable Thanksgiving-week programming. Their take on the Delilah show should be the new Thanksgiving-eve tradition.
20. Driving to Thanksgiving, and of course Thanksgiving itself!

Poetic License Horoscopes for Nov 26-Dec 2

Sagittarius (Nov. 23-Dec. 22): Happy Birthday Month! Your celebratory quote comes from Leonard Cohen: “Once your life is organized so beautifully that there’s a table, and a chair, and a typewriter, that already is an incredible triumph.”

Capricorn (Dec. 23-Jan. 20): Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows, Part One is pretty bleak, but you can enjoy it more by 1) enjoying all of the beautiful landscapes, and 2) remembering all of the badassery to come.

Aquarius (Jan. 21-Feb. 19): Dear Lost Friend: I don’t know if you still read these, but if you do: I still think of you every time I hear Belle and Sebastian’s song, Wrapped Up in Books, AKA the song on the set list that you didn’t play. I still have the set list, too.

Pisces (Feb. 20-March 20): A Scrabble Blessing: May you know all of your two-letter words, as well as the “q-with-no-u”s. May you never end up with all vowels or all consonants. May your seven letters spell one word, every time, and may you have someplace to put each one. Amen.

Aries (March 21-April 18): When Liz Lemon experiences a small victory, she says that she’s “high-fiving a million angels!” Prepare to have just that much to celebrate.

Taurus (April 19-May 18): Make like the “Tons of Fucking Sequins” guy. (Google it.) Load up your arms with something decadent and swear exultantly about it for all to hear.

Gemini (May 19-June 21): “You can get anything you want, at Alice’s Restaurant/ Excepting Alice/ You can get anything you want, at Alice’s Restaurant /Walk right in it’s around the back/ Just a half a mile from the railroad track/You can get anything you want, at Alice’s Restaurant.” —Arlo Guthrie

Cancer (June 22-July 23): Replace all of your self-portraits with cels from your favorite cartoons. You’re almost a Care Bear anyway, so just go ahead and make the leap.

Leo (July 24-Aug. 23: “If you have ever gone into the woods with me, I must love you very much.”—Mary Oliver. Grab someone brilliant and beautiful and go watch the last leaves.

Virgo (Aug. 24-Sept. 23): While everyone’s out starting their holiday shopping, stay home and repair what you already have; sew buttons on neglected pants, dust hard-to-reach places, back up your files. Soon you’ll need all of your energy for stringing lights.

Libra (Sept. 24-Oct. 21): One of my favorite family-weekend traditions is after-dinner Mario Kart. Do something that makes you laugh hysterically and fall off imaginary rope bridges: 3! 2! 1! GO!

Scorpio (Oct. 22-Nov. 22): “What a beautiful face/I have found in this place/That is circling all round’ the sun/And when we meet on a cloud/I’ll be laughing out loud/I’ll be laughing with everyone I see/Can’t believe how strange it is to be anything at all.”—Neutral Milk Hotel