Friday, November 12, 2010

Poetic License Horoscopes for Nov. 12-18

Scorpio (Oct. 22-Nov. 22): Give up commercials for one week. Not TV, just commercials. Take time to feel like mopping might not be your destiny, that you might not need to have babies, that it isn’t time yet to think about the holidays.

Sagittarius (Nov. 23-Dec. 22): Make up your own holidays: Sleep For Twelve Hours Day! Last Autumn Leaves Day! Finally Scrubbed the Stove Day! Celebrate every little thing.

Capricorn (Dec. 23-Jan. 20): The most sensible person in my iPod (even more so than Ira Glass) is Jen “Flash” Andrews from Too Beautiful to Live. This week she emailed to tell me to dream bigger, since my wishes are already coming true. I made a magic-marker list of “Bigger Dreams,” but I like the way that little dreams add up.

Aquarius (Jan. 21-Feb. 19): Start making your holiday lists: What will you self-determine for Kujichagulia? When’s too early to make Egg Nog Bread Pudding? Who can you shake from your card list? What light is worth the miracle oil? Who gets the wish bone?

(Feb. 20-March 20): In the ’90s fish-out-of water comedy Northern Exposure, Dr. Joel Fleishman is forced to work in rural Alaska to pay off his medical school debt. For the first few episodes, he’s so intent on escaping that he doesn’t notice the gorgeous landscape around him.

Aries (March 21-April 18): “The choice to bless the world is more than an act of will with intention to do good. It’s an act of recognition, a grateful acknowledgment that in the midst of a broken world, unspeakable beauty, grace, and mystery abide.”—Rebecca Parker

Taurus (April 19-May 18): If you’re dreaming about morning glories, it means you want to go to bed earlier, or that you’re sad the only flowers left are mums, asters and roses, or that you regret having to walk through smelly ginkgo fruit. It’s the late-fall blues, and it can only be fixed with soup.

Gemini (May 19-June 21): As I think I mentioned before, my brother is graduating college soon. Let’s all clap our hands and hope that he decides to move back to the East Coast from Iowa. Here’s to reunited families, to sibling in-jokes, to packed U-Hauls. C’mon!

Cancer (June 22-July 23): Make art about something that riles you up! Write all the venom out of your bones. Let your heart cut up its own ransom notes. They say that it’s good for you, but I’m not sure.

Leo (July 24-Aug. 23): It’s National Novel Writing Month! If you’re not busy writing your novel, try 30 days of something else: Try 30 new recipes, see if you’re the next Julie Powell. Send 30 ill-advised emails. Try 30 new wines and start a wine diary. Or how about 30 new brooches for your collection?

(Aug. 24-Sept. 23): The CD for Band of Horses album Infinite Arms comes with a lovely pictures designed to look like snapshots: the Milky Way over a cliffside, a rustic church, some magnificent clouds. All the more reason for the old-timey habit of buying physical music.

Libra (Sept. 24-Oct. 21): Arbitrary divisions between groups of human beings can suck it. I would love to learn to reach beyond my categories more, to remember we’re all made of the same stuff.

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