Tuesday, March 8, 2011

On This Day Last Year

On this day last year, I left my second AmeriCorps term early, due to a hostile work environment and a can’t-get-out-of-bed depression.

It was a gorgeous, warm day and XPN was playing all of these really soothing songs about transition. I went in before anybody was in the office yet. Amy kept the car running while I gathered up my bins and some supplies.

I left a note that said “I’m sorry. But I have to get myself healthy or I won’t be able to help anyone.”

You can read the whole story starting here, but you certainly don’t have to.

Here are some things that have changed since last year:

1.I no longer hate the sound of my own voice. Sometimes I even like it.

2. I’m even more committed to fighting racism, sexism, and homophobia, especially the ways in which those things interfere with the happiness and safety of African American kids. (Well, all kids. But especially.)

3. I don’t feel quite so guilty about being smitten with people sometimes, even though that co-worker aimed that car at me that time.

4. I don’t feel like I have to work quite so hard to prove that I’m not evil.

5. That poet guy who told me once that I don’t have a right to an opinion about hip-hop? Can suck it. And so can anyone who tries to tell anyone they don’t deserve to have a voice.

I’m so grateful for almost everything that has happened since that devastating/liberating last day. So many thanks to everyone who helped bring me back to life.

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