Friday, April 15, 2011

Poetic License Horoscope for April 15-21

Poetic License Horoscope for April 15-21

Aries (March 21-April 18): I tried cutting up the lyrics to T.I’s Whatever You Like in order to rearrange them into a poem, but with little success. The song must’ve already been perfect, like you.

Taurus (April 19-May 18): Enjoy another fine day of being a prodigy. Compose a symphony before dawn and bring down the house. Install environmental art to rival Christo and Jeanne-Claude. After lunch, save lives.

Gemini (May 19-June 21): Yes, the car keeps breaking down, but at least you’re stranded someplace nice, with plenty of snacks and video games, with everyone you love the best.

Cancer (June 22-July 23): Are the daffodils still blooming by your back path, or are they done? Do you still like medical marijuana and Lost? Are there still wine bottles under the guest bed? ‘Cause I’d like to come visit.

Leo (July 24-Aug. 23): Things might be crumbling down like Inception buildings or they may just be a little frustrating. Either way, here’s what you do: Kiss your dearest with your whole mouth. Hug your friends. Use your voice in as many ways you can possibly think of.

Virgo (Aug. 24-Sept. 23): Get yourself a little something, a pretty necklace to reward yourself for the nice cliffs you’ve jumped off of in dreams.

Libra (Sept. 24-Oct. 21): Reward yourself for all of your small and unmentioned acts of chivalry. Gifts include but are not limited to: cupcakes, lavish hugs from grrrls, notebooks, blank CDs for burning, the thanks of children, and Easter candy.

Scorpio (Oct. 22-Nov. 22): Confess everything. Get it over with. Write a mass email to a decade of crushes, with well chosen words for each and every one. Admit to tastes you’ve never savored, and all the bands you are supposed to like, but don’t.

Sagittarius (Nov. 23-Dec. 22): Do some nothing. Sometimes you forget to.

Capricorn (Dec. 23-Jan. 20): Write a list of made-up memories and hand them out like fortunes. Slip them through the bars at the zoo, across coffee-counters, into the hands of ticket agents. The world is your own nice friendly fiction. Just live in it.

Aquarius (Jan. 21-Feb. 19): My friend Susane says flightiness is an Aquarian trait, and, not being an astrologer, I’m in no position to disagree. Get lost in the breeze a little. Lose your address book, your contacts, your keys. Like always, you’ll trust it all to come back.

Pisces (Feb. 20-March 20): You and me, Pisces. We’re collaborating on a poem. It’s called Adorable Things That Are Adorable and it includes appearances by kittens, nieces and nephews, baby dachshunds, pez dispensers, half friendship bracelets from the Goodwill, and the caramel creams you bought me, because you knew they reminded me of racial harmony.

Poetic License Horoscopes is a free syndicated series which appears weekly on such lit blogs as The Serotonin Factory, Critical Mass / and The Legendary and Apiary If you are interested in adding the Poetic License Horoscopes to your lit journal / lit blog, please email me at

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