Thursday, September 1, 2011

Birthday Wishes and Heart Inventory

Well, my birthday isn’t for a few more days, but it’s nice to have an excuse to post this picture of my new tiara, which I earned by not crying (in a bad way, at least) while working stage left during the camp musical. My wishes are kind of always the same.

  1. This is always my first wish: that Amy would find a good, fulfilling, well-paying job close to home. Since I’m wishing, let’s say within one token’s travel. This week is her busy week so she’s getting home even later than usual, and it’s really lonely. Every once in a while, I’m like, “Oh yeah, we forgot to get you a job closer to home!” Supersigh.
  2. And while I am sighing, the one wish I can’t really work towards, my good old secret/not-so-secret wish: that the waiting extra space in my heart gets filled up with someone or someones.
  3. For a productive and happy year of grad school, fulfilling all of my requirements and writing all the papers to get to certified teacherhood.
  4. That For the Comfort of Automated Phrases has a happy editing process, (and why shouldn’t it be, since Sibling Rivalry Press is absolutely darling.) and that I get to tour a whole bunch when it comes out, and catch up with lots of friends, and get lots of hugs.
  5. It’s going to be such a homeworky year, so I wish for all of the work not to take me too far away from my poet self—I hope to find good little ways to stay sparky and inspired every day. Send songs.
  6. Confidential to heartbreak—can I please get over that thing I’m not over?  It really. Shouldn’t. Be. Such. A. Big. Deal.

I can honestly say that I’ve come a long way since last year. This time last September, I was really lost. I felt isolated and alienated. The grief left over from my AmeriCorps service didn’t seem like it would ever lift, and I had trouble with getting close to any friends besides Amy.

A few things (besides this often ironically-named blog) help me to pull out of the grief: I love my job in the library’s after school program, two favorite friends came to live in Philly for the year, and my re-coming-out as queer and poly made me feel a lot more like myself. And, miracle of miracles, this was the year my manuscript was accepted.

All in all, I think I’m just the luckiest. Thanks a jillion to all of the friends, loves, and readers who made it such a nice year. I am so so glad to know you. 

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