Poetic License Horoscopes for September 9-15

Poetic License Horoscopes for September 9-15

Virgo (Aug. 24-Sept. 23): “You do not have to be good. / You do not have to walk on your knees/ For a hundred miles through the desert, repenting./ You only have to let the soft animal of your body/ love what it loves.” (Mary Oliver, Wild Geese) Nor do you have to keep trying to prove to everyone how easygoing you are, how little you need.

Libra (Sept. 24-Oct. 21): “You may be my lucky star, ‘cause you make the darkness seem so far.” (Madonna)  To the Libra who recently decided to re-take-up poetry: we’re shining on your every stanza.

Scorpio (Oct. 22-Nov. 22): “Want you to make me feel, like I’m the only girl in the world, like I’m the only one you’ll ever love, like I’m the only one who knows your heart.” (Rihanna) Yes, Rihanna, this is possible, even if you are just one star in a vast constellation.

Sagittarius (Nov. 23-Dec. 22): The stars hope you spent your last day of summer napping on a beach somewhere, resting up for the next season of growth and riches, friends and fan mail. The stars just love your famous face.

Capricorn (Dec. 23-Jan. 20): You are dancing joyfully at every party, belting out pop songs with wild abandon, doing everything Beyoncé tells you to. This is exactly right.

Aquarius (Jan. 21-Feb. 19): Stay up late talking with friends even after the party is over. This is how you will know you are loved, that you absolutely belong somewhere, as the hostess is washing the dishes and urging you to eat the last cupcake.

Pisces (Feb. 20-March 20): It’s time to Google the Glee version of Born This Way, decide what your T-shirt would say, and love that part of yourself.


Aries (March 21-April 18): It couldn’t hurt to write long love letters to everyone who’s missing and tell them just how much they are missed. I don’t know who could resist such sweet hearted Valentines; probably no one.

Taurus (April 19-May 18): “Oh, to be in love with so many things at once.” (Elliott D. Smith) Love takes apart everything and puts it back together, even the most tough-guy dreamboats know this. Celebrate every snuggle.

Gemini (May 19-June 21): Even if it rains on the first day of school, even if the school bus forgets you, the rest of your year will be filled with bright faces and sharp pencils, birthday prizes and fulfilled rubrics. Happy September.

Cancer (June 22-July 23): To the Cancer who sent me fancy bird stickers for my birthday—what better way to pass the way-too-much-time until the next season of Portlandia than putting birds on love letters and sending them everywhere.

Leo (July 24-Aug. 23):  “It’s like a different country, the past/ we made wishes on unnamed falling stars/ that I’ve forgotten, that maybe were granted/ because I wished for love.” (Sheila Packa) You are very wish perfectly granted, every prayer invoice, every secret whim followed.