Poetic License Horoscopes for October 7-13

Libra (Sept. 24-Oct. 21): Happy birthday to one of my favorite Libras in the world. Your year will be full of dancing, sparkles, being bossed around nicely, long yammering walks, and snuggles. You will be free from backaches and bad dreams.

Scorpio (Oct. 22-Nov. 22): Make yourself a theme song, like Zooey Deschanel on her new sitcom. Sing about how pretty you are, and how smart, and how charming. Sing it all day every day.

Sagittarius (Nov. 23-Dec. 22): The stars love to watch your dreams come true, it’s one of our favorite hobbies. Keep adopting lost puppies and making cute friends and getting your books all written.

Capricorn (Dec. 23-Jan. 20):Forgiveness needs fuel, so before composing any letters to make amends, take yourself out to dinner, buy some glossy new magazines, shop for produce, anything that makes you feel like you count. Later on you can think about making up.

Aquarius (Jan. 21-Feb. 19): Happy fifth wedding anniversary to one of my favorite Aquarians. Count the ways that the two of you, the constellation of you, are an inspiration to your friends. Make a list and toast every item.

Pisces (Feb. 20-March 20): Your heart is as shiny as a Claire’s Boutique would’ve been to us when we were eight: all multicolored rhinestones, enamel roses, Hello Kitty handbags, and sparkly personalized keychains. Sure looks like riches to me.

Aries (March 21-April 18): The stars haven’t heard from you lately, but every so often we visit your facebook wall and read all the love notes from your legions of admirers. We imagine this means you are a happy busy, filled with purpose and love.

Taurus (April 19-May 18): Sometimes none of the songs in your headphones are inspiring, and you feel tired of all the music. so just take a few days and celebrate silence, birdsong, sirens. In a few days, you’ll love all the songs again.

Gemini (May 19-June 21): You may have gone overboard at the orchard lately. If your house is overflowing with apples, you have no choice but to learn some new recipes and bust out the fancy cinnamon.

Cancer (June 22-July 23):  To the Cancer who is reading for happiness, the stars predict whole libraries of joy. Snuggle up to novels and histories, maybe even a poet or two. Take a break from the nonprinted world until your soul is full.

Leo (July 24-Aug. 23) This week, consider reveling in the cheesy dialogue and pretty outfits of the new Charlie’s Angels, though the stars suspect they won’t be around for long. You are just as pretty and silly and brave.

Virgo (Aug. 24-Sept. 23): A wise friend recently told me that I am great at thinking something’s not going to work and then doing it anyway—that’s your job this week, Virgo. Go ahead with everything, even if you are lacking faith.