Scorpio (Oct. 22-Nov. 22): Happy birthday! This week, meditate on TV shows about cupcakes: The sudden ubiquitousness of red velvet, the intricacies of frosting roses, the elaborate themed showpieces displaying an array of sweetness, that’s you.
Sagittarius (Nov. 23-Dec. 22): “Every new beginning comes from some other beginning’s end.” (Semisonic, Closing Time) This week, and every week, really, let one thing go and let one new thing start, even if it’s trying a new recipe or getting attached to a new sitcom, it’s a little way to keep starting life over.
Capricorn (Dec. 23-Jan. 20): Take whatever you did with your extra daylight savings time and invest it—even if it pays dividends of dancing or of extra sleep, you’ll be rich with it soon enough.
Aquarius (Jan. 21-Feb. 19): To the Aquarius who asked a boy nicely to kiss her—good for you. Whatever softness you’ve gained, whatever future snuggles, can be attributed to the bravery of (ever so politely) claiming something cute for yourself.
Pisces (Feb. 20-March 20): However vexing or important the dreams are that are stubbornly refusing to come true, take time this week to celebrate the ones that are already yours. Collect hugs and snapshots, and wholesome tourist experiences. The other dreams are watching you through the Lost-mirror lighthouse and waiting for their time, we promise.
Aries (March 21-April 18): “And all the children walking home past the factories/ can see the light that’s shining in my window as I write this song to you/ and all the cars running fast along the interstate/ can feel the love that radiates, illuminating what I know is true.” (Gabe Dixon, All Will Be Well) Like the characters on last week’s Parks and Recreation, pretend it’s the last night on earth, and do everything you’ve ever wanted to do.
Taurus (April 19-May 18): To the Taurus who’s been sending me like a million songs that help keep my brain alive in times of too much homework: Brian Eno’s Baby’s on Fire was especially helpful, and so was the Le Tigre and the concert footage of Kiss doing Detroit Rock City. Gold star to you, sit. and sorry for the autotune I sometimes send in return.
Gemini (May 19-June 21): It may seem a little bit early, but it’s time to firm up your plans to go see The Muppet Movie with the family over Thanksgiving break. Jason Segel! Has a roommate! Who is! A muppet! He is a FAN of Muppets who also IS a muppet, which is confusing, but apt, and reminds me of you. (Of whom I am a fan)
Cancer (June 22-July 23): You are like a poem that can be used for a million lesson plans, photocopied for children, parsed out on the overhead projector, an introduction to the mathematics of color and the science of prisms. You are always the entire spectrum, and so edifying.
Leo (July 24-Aug. 23): “this fucking/ Scotch is/ great./ let’s play/ Scrabble.” (Charles Bukowski, Pulled Down Shade) Even if it’s dealt you the occasional bad pew in the past, Scrabble is wonderful to have in the house, like love.
Virgo (Aug. 24-Sept. 23): “The world is a bloodrush of rough harmony.” (Ali Smith, There But for The) You’ll pick out the notes that jostle you awake, that jangle your soul. Don’t stop listening until you find them all.
Libra (Sept 24-Oct 21): “If you had the courage and/ Could give the Beloved his choice, some nights,/ He would just drag you around the room,/ By your hair,/ Ripping from your grip all those toys in the world/ That bring you no joy.” (Hafiz, Tired of Speaking Sweetly)