Friday, January 13, 2012

Poetic License Horoscope for January 13-19

Capricorn (Dec. 23-Jan. 20): Do something untoward this week. Talk too loud about secret things and get outraged when they shush you. Skip church in favor of erotic poetry readings. Think about that person you are not supposed to think about. Ask for more than you ever have before.

Aquarius (Jan 21-Feb. 19): If this is your time to take a break, make the most of it. Spend whole Tuesdays writing letters to yourself. Catch up on beloved series. Hug your nearest and dearest a hundred million times or tell them (nicely) to go away and leave you in peace. This is your time now, take it.

Pisces (Feb. 20-March 20): You have all of the moxie in the world this week. You are as brave as children. If anyone tries to tell you otherwise, push them down and walk away. Enjoy the rest of the playground. I recommend the swings.

Aries (March 21-April 18): To the dear Aries headed off on a first date: may he be cuter than his profile picture, and say the same about you. May the conversation flow without questions or prompts. May it end with a blush, a giggle, a kiss. May the evening end optimistically and full of light.

Taurus (April 19-May 18): You are not stranded. Whatever limits you feel at the moment are temporary. You can Houdini yourself out of any unwanted or imagined shackles if you proceed optimistically. Make every kind and hopeful choice. Take whatever risks will get you to magic or escape velocity.

Gemini (May 19-June 21): Stop putting it off. Whatever you’re lusting after, whether it’s time to read for pleasure or a nap in a treehouse by the beach, start moving toward it. You deserve every wish, as lovely as the talent in your perfect hands and heart.

Cancer (June 22-July 23): Thank goodness Portlandia is back! In last week’s episode, Carrie realized that her old-camp-friend-turned–mixologist loves her based on the elaborateness of the cocktail he serves. She follows him to Southern California to give him a mixtape, and they find true love. That’s the kind of quest I want you to go on. Good luck.

Leo (July 24- Aug. 23): “Worry is NOT well-spent on things that are already making me happy.” (Olivia Conti) That shiny thing you were always looking for is with you, and for the moment, it always will be. Don’t fuss with the edges of it or dwell on differences, even if they seem too deep. What’s keeping it there is deeper.

Virgo (Aug. 24-Sept. 23): “The way of love is not a subtle argument.” (Rumi) When the stars asked for requests this week, almost everyone asked for patience, but what you really need is faith. Whatever you are waiting for, it’s coming, and when it does, you will not have to talk it into anything. You won’t have to try so hard, just listen and know.

Libra (Sept. 24-Oct. 21): The stars recently began poking around on the online community FetLife and aside from the possibility of making nice new friends with good imaginations, we like seeing our platonic friends in somewhat compromising positions. Take a risk like that this week, Libra, pretty and fun and vulnerable. We trust you’ll remember the safeword.

Scorpio (Oct. 22-Nov. 22): Call your latest adventure a success. Take any and all positive feedback to heart, and get ready. You have everything you need now, your dedication, your pretty eyes and soulful photographs, your steady heart and reliable texts. Follow it all through and get exactly what you need.

Sagittarius (Nov. 23-Dec 22): To the Sagittarius hoping to learn to be less hypocritical: Walt Whitman said “I contain multitudes,” and I find that that makes a good excuse for almost anything. Learn to love your contradictions, blush and apologize and move on from mistakes, and follow your own advice as often as possible, but not always.

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