Aquarius (Jan 21-Feb. 19): Happy birthday to a favorite Aquarius poet, Hannah McDonald! May the coming year be filled with nerdy love, shiny things, sexy subtext, fancy gelato, and lots and lots of dancing.
Pisces (Feb. 20-March 20): I asked a Pisces that I met at a snuggle party what he’d like from the stars this week, and he said “I’d like to find my community. Oh, and also a million dollars.” Well, I can promise you this—you’ll find whoever you need to find and you will certainly be a snuggle millionaire.
Aries (March 21-April 18): “I ask for what I want and I say no to what I don’t want.” (The Ethical Slut) This week, if something is a maybe, let it be a no for now. Practice your boundaries and take time to yourself whenever needed—there’ll be times later to smush everyone with big big hugs, I promise.
Taurus (April 19-May 18): The stars have been doing some, uh, research into the world of BDSM. The best thing we’ve learned about so far is “aftercare” wherein hurty activities are followed by comforting ones. Apply this practice to your everyday life whenever possible. I recommend pajamas, blankets, and anything with Zooey Deschanel in it.
Gemini (May 19-June 21): Collect up all of the Valentines from earlier in the week and build something—a castle, a fort, a simple house of pink and red cards. It’s the symbol of your coming love year, so be thorough.
Cancer (June 22-July 23): Find as many ways as possible to stop pretending.
Leo (July 24- Aug. 23): If you end up with a day off in the middle of the week, don’t spend it on practical things. Lounge around reading magic-themed young adult novels, snuggle with loved ones and cats, make soup that takes a long time and smells delicious.
Virgo (Aug. 24-Sept. 23): Who doesn’t love a good bonobo story? A very nice Tantric practitioner recently told me that bonobo chimp groups have a “town crier”—one chimp who is designated to cry all the tears for everyone. You don’t always have to be that chimp, but it’s okay if you are sometimes.
Libra (Sept. 24-Oct. 21): I’ve decided that I will wear pajamas to any place I can from no on. I just love pajamas so much. I also love how nice a brand new pair of socks feels. Do yourself as many cozy favors as possible this week, even if you’re not quite as ridiculous as the stars are.
Scorpio (Oct. 22-Nov. 22): “If we look at our lives, we will see clearly how many unimportant tasks, so-called “responsibilities,” accumulate and fill them up. One master compares them to “housekeeping in a dream.” (Soygal Rinpoche) This week, pick four things you think you have to do, and skip them.
Sagittarius (Nov. 23-Dec 22): I spent some time in my friends’ former neighborhood the other day. It was fun, but it made me realize how much I’d been missing them since they’d moved away. Then a Valentine came from them the next day, with hand-drawn cartoons of them, speech bubbles saying how much they missed us too. Appreciate the miracle of time spent together, and maybe send a little note.
Capricorn (Dec. 23-Jan. 20): I’ve been reading the Percy Jackson books, about the modern-day children of the Greek gods and goddesses. They’re pretty good but it burns me up that they keep characterizing Aphrodite’s children as vain and less powerful than the other heroes. This is just so much (vaguely sexist) bullshit. This week, build altars to the awe-inspiring powers of love and aesthetics. Stop at nothing.