Triads and Quadrangles: Googling "Triad Marriage"

"Triad marriage" is a kind of a sad thing to Google. The conservatives of the world are terrified of it, and it's a Fox News talking point against all nontraditional marriage. Dan Savage is not optimistic about it, but he can be so old-timey sometimes. But poly families are so cute!

Ten Things I Love About My Wife

Just like I’m usually sick of Christmas songs by 12/24, I am pretty sick of lovey dovey stuff today. But I couldn’t let today go by without acknowledging the best force in my life.

1.She is really really cute.

2. She loves the couch and the TV almost as much as I do.

3. If someone is mean to me, she’ll offer to glue their car doors shut. I have never taken her up on this.

4. She’s doing an art project a week right now. This household is happiest whenever she’s making something beautiful.

5. I love that she’s an atheist. One of my favorite parts of the week is coming home from church and hearing the tail-end of whatever weird sci-fi show she’s been watching.

6. She’s worked really really hard all these years, supporting me as I follow various dreams and recover from various nightmares.

7. Falling asleep to Radiolab. Then going back and listening to it later.

8. She gets choked up whenever there’s anything on about a gay family, even if our family just consists of two ladies and two cats.

9. The ways we like to make out whenever there’s anti-gay protestors around-like, that’ll teach ‘em.

10. She is the most monogamous person ever and she loves me even though I am (lazily) not. That’s unconditional, son!

Friday Love Poem: HAPPY ANNIVERSARY!

Tomorrow, December 4th, is the NINE YEAR anniversary of the night that Amy and I became a couple. Here's to many more years of sitting on the couch watching episodes!

For Those About to Plan Weddings, We Salute You

Married, you're responsible
for at least two sets of teeth.
Look around and count them.
You have to take care of (at least)
eight limbs, two hearts, twenty extremities
subject to frostbite.

Hone your gentle nagging
to the sound of snowfall
or the washing machine.
Budget fresh air and sunlight for you both.
Picture the week in front of you
like a staircase.

Married, you might say
“Let's watch one more episode.”
for the chance to lean against her heart
for another fifty minutes.
One episode may turn into seven.
It's alright.

You've doubled your books, good.
When you can lay in bed and read on Sundays
single friends might seem
a little too spur-of-the moment.
There's someone to make you into the bed,
someone to make the coffee.

You can scrapbook a grocery-list romance
or take up birdwatching,
become almost permanently still.
The weight gain is a bother,
But the honeymoons are as many
as petals on hydrangeas.

(Unconditional love is shocking,
can make you feel invisible:
look in the mirror a lot.)

10 Nice Things to Do for Amy

Well, it's my sweet wifie's birthday. So here's a list for her:

1. On Sunday nights at ten, watch Iron Chef instead of Mad Men.
2. Always make her mix first.
3. Practice the gift of spousal silence.
4. Write her elaborate letters.
5. Take her to see The Kids Are All Right.
6. Take out the garbage sometimes.
7. Do nothing with her.
8. Take care of the garden with her.
9. Have supper ready when I can.
10. One million hugs and kisses.