Poetic License Horoscopes: Concerts I've Been to Edition

Poetic License Horoscopes: Concerts I've Been to Edition

Cancer: New Order, Oakenfold, Moby, The Orb (Area 51 Festival, San Bernadino, CA) We'd just worn ourselves out dancing to Oakenfold and were buying some lemonade when we heard the first note of Moby's “Porcelain.” We joined hands and ran up the hill toward the big stage under a full sky of stars. It was the must fun I ever had while running.

Leo: The New Pornographers (The Trocadero, Philadelphia, PA) I haven't been to a concert in like, 4 or 5 years because I had this weird idea that I was too old for rock shows. As the gorgeous lights went up and the harmonies hummed me up some new chakras, I kicked myself for every show I'd ever left myself out of. What have you left yourself out of?

Virgo: Aerosmith, Skid Row (The War Memorial, Syracuse, NY) I went to my first concert with my mom. For all that I go on about my cheesy first concert, seeing Steven Tyler sing Dream On was a very moving experience for my 15-year-old self. “Sing with me, but just for today, maybe tomorrow, the good lord'll take it away....” Maybe that's why I became an existentialist! Also, my mom said this: “Why do they have to swear so much?”

Libra: A Tribe Called Quest, Wyclef Jean (Cornell University) Remember how much fun it was to shake our asses to to “I left my wallet in El Segundo”? How many things have we left like that, then had to tell elaborate stories about retracing our steps?

Scorpio: Soundgarden, Ministry, Pearl Jam, etc. (Lollapalooza 2, Saratoga, NY) Dye your hair pink, watch it run down your back in the heavy rain, get drunk on a stranger's flask of sloe gin. Do inadvisable things in the bushes. Watch out for poison ivy.

Sagittarius: Ben Folds (Syracuse University) It was the day after my Uncle Tony died, but he was a music guy, so why not use the tickets? We got separated from our friends, so we watched from a distance as they danced in the collective effervescence. There are few things that can't be soothed by cathartic piano.

Capricorn: Morrissey (Central Park) There was a guy in front of me who had Morrissey's face tattooed on his arm. (Whose face would you tattoo on yours?) I didn't want to throw gladiolas on the stage like everyone else, so I threw pink roses. They got kicked off the stage anyway!

Aquarius: Rilo Kiley, Tilly and the Wall (Hamilton College) 1. If your car isn't that good, wear thick socks in the dead of winter! 2. Hipsters are weird. One minute they're watching 80s TV shows ironically and the next moment they're crying along to an Elliott Smith death ballad; they're raising their hands up and clapping, singing “It's sixteen miles/ to the promised land/and I promise you/I'm doing the best I can.”

Pisces: Flaming Lips, Ween, The Magic Numbers (New York State Fairgrounds) Carnival rides were the perfect backdrop. Wayne Coyne advised us to turn to our friends right then and tell them how much we love them. “Though they were sad,they rescued everyone. They lifted up the sun. A spoonful weighs a ton.”

Aries: Paul Simon (Born at The Right Time Tour) This was the time our family was picture perfect. We even stopped for a picnic by the river one the way there. That day was a perfect rest stop on the way to falling apart. 1. It eventually came back together. 2. It makes the nostalgia sweeter.

Taurus: Tori Amos (Syracuse, NY) 1. She can play two pianos at once! 2. My friend Randy waited backstage and gave her a necklace he made and an antique china teacup. Buy some lovely presents for someone of whom you are a huge fan.

Gemini: Ben Folds Five, Ween, Beck, Neal Young, and... (HOARDE Fest, Saratoga, NY) My brother and I used to go to a lot of concerts together. As we were driving to this one, we were listening to Soul Coughing and I said “Wouldn't it be awesome if Soul Coughing was there?” AND THEY WERE! Maybe a little more wishing aloud this week, Gemini.