Friday, November 5, 2010

Horoscope: The Drunk on Civility Edition: Starring Tim Gunn and the Rally to Restore Sanity

For Nov 5-11

Scorpio (Oct. 22-Nov. 22): My wife and I went to the Rally to Restore Sanity last weekend and I found that being an exemplar of politeness (albeit a somewhat smug one) for the day was very spiritually rewarding. I still hate anyone with a “wag more, bark less” sticker on their car, though.

Sagittarius (Nov. 23-Dec. 22): In his book Gunn’s Golden Rules: Life’s Little Lessons for Making it Work, Tim wonders if maybe it’s “too tough to behave well under all the crazy circumstances life throws at you … you wonder if you should become an advocate not for manners but for living in a cave with a boulder rolled in front of it.” You can try that, but only this week.

Capricorn (Dec. 23-Jan. 20): Some favorite rally signs: “Everyone here is CUTE!” “Plurals don’t need apostrophes” and “Save Ferris.” What would your sign have said?

Aquarius (Jan. 21-Feb. 19): Veering off the civility theme for a moment — Gretchen?!!? Really?! I will continue to wear as many simultaneous patterns as possible just to continue supporting Mondo. You were ROBBED!

(Feb. 20-March 20): “Few activities are as delightful as learning new vocabulary.” —Tim Gunn: A Guide to Quality, Taste and Style. Buy yourself a page-a-day calendar and a bottle of nice wine. Wake up loquacious and delighted.

Aries (March 21-April 18): This morning a reader of mine breached etiquette by calling me up repeatedly and breathlessly to worry about something that I wrote on my blog. Dude! That’s what comments are for! I said, “What are you, my father?” Then realized that my father would NEVER tell me what not to write. Thanks for being awesome, Dad!

Taurus (April 19-May 18): Running out of steam? Tim Gunn says: “As long as we have Netflix, Turner Classic Movies, Amazon, YouTube and bookstores, there is no excuse ever to lack inspiration.” Googling “Kittens Inspired By Kittens” is a nice place to start. (It never stops being funny.)

Gemini (May 19-June 21): A loving message from Mavis Staples and Jeff Tweedy: “An open hand /and open heart/there’s no need to be afraid. /Open up, this is a raid /I want to get it through to you: /you’re not alone.”

Cancer (June 22-July 23): From the best band to see at a rally, The Roots: “Out on the streets /Where I grew up /First thing they teach us: /Not to give a fuck. /That type of thinking can’t get you nowhere /Someone has to care.”

(July 24-Aug. 23): Jon Stewart says that every-other-person merging is proof that we are inherently civil. Meditate on this at every entrance, exit and construction zone: You go and then I go, you go and then I go, you go and then I go …

Virgo (Aug. 24-Sept. 23): This week I achieved my dream of being mentioned on my favorite podcast, Too Beautiful to Live. ( just goes to show that if you pick little, reasonable dreams, they can come true every day.

(Sept. 24-Oct. 21): One more message from Tim Gunn. He says that when you hold a door open for someone, you are telling them you care enough about your fellow human beings not to want the door to hit them in the face.

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