Wednesday, February 16, 2011

Hostile Work Environment Pantoum

As I've talked about ad nauseum, this time last year I was in a scary job situation and as lost as can be. I'm happy about how far I've come, but I can't help but be a little falshbacky. So heres a thing I wrote about it at the time.


Hostile Work Environment
I wish you no worse than your own commute,
garments against the drizzle
shielding your own safe face,
while mine is a membrane of jokes, a ghost.

Your garments against the drizzle,
I am an ex-ray peep show, a fish bowl.
I remain a membrane of jokes, a ghost,
in the comfort of paranoia confirmed.

I am a ex-ray peep show, a fish bowl.
I'm not crazy, you're just awful,
my comfort in paranoia confirmed,
cells no longer shocked to move.

I'm not crazy, you're just awful,
and of course I was being watched, throat cut,
bones no longer coaxed to move,
but panic, a visceral clock.

If course I was being watched, throat cut.
Bone-scraped daily, I did not develop thick skin,
just panic, a visceral clock,
you hear me, just barely, scraped and skinless.

Scraped daily, I did not develop thick skin,
but a festering chorus, a bloody cacophony.
You hear me, just barely, scraped and skinless,
blush-mortified, paralyzed with doubt.

You festering chorus, you bloody cacophony,
learn to control your facial expressions,
blush-mortified, paralyze yourself with doubt.
I wish you the crush of sadness you rolled your eyes at.

I've learned to control my facial expressions,
shield my own safe face.
I wish you the crush of sadness you rolled your eyes at.
I wish you no worse than your own commute.

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