Thursday, April 21, 2011

Poetic License Horoscope for April 22-28

Poetic License Horoscope for April 22-28

Taurus (April 19-May 18): Taurus is closed this week for renovations. The stars are recalibrating. Thanks, The Mgmt

Gemini (May 19-June 21): I think of you and Mitch Hedberg whenever I see an escalator that is “Temporarily Stairs. Sorry for the convenience.” You may need to climb a little, but not that far.

Cancer (June 22-July 23): You’re wondering what to name your story. May I suggest Comfy Forever or Sharper Than Sun? How about Happy on the Couch? The stars just won’t call you late for dinner.

Leo (July 24-Aug. 23): My wife was quite heartbroken this week when the Science Carnival was rained out—all I can do is promise her that next year will be all blooming trees and sunbeams, rich with experiments.

Virgo (Aug. 24-Sept. 23): “You will spill over the rim of your flowerpot. /You will trail toward the floor in two long tendrils/rippling with soft green spades, /but your roots will stay in the dirt”—Scott Beal

Libra (Sept. 24-Oct. 21): The stars are still drawing little doodly hearts next to your name, they do it absentmindedly, like a default setting or a dream. We’re watching our mailboxes (Yes, stars have mailboxes.) for Valentines back.

Scorpio (Oct. 22-Nov. 22): You’re sending out love like dandelion seeds, stretching out fast and prolific over every blessed lawn you touch, soft little sunshine head, keep seeding.

Sagittarius (Nov. 23-Dec. 22): Soon your home-city will welcome you with open water-ice stands and free-on-Sunday museums. Lay down in the arms of it and take a snooze.

Capricorn (Dec. 23-Jan. 20): You love like a preteen girl writes fan mail, prolific and a little wild—make it more so. Unicorn sticker every parking meter and post. Make your tag a heart with an arrow through it and bomb it up everywhere.

Aquarius (Jan. 21-Feb. 19): It’s time to think about May, which for you means wisteria blooming sensibly, editing millions of poems, and typing up businesslike letters. After that, you’ll have everything.

Pisces (Feb. 20-March 20): You have been known to compare love to Reese’s peanut butter cups. We stars have been cautioned against emotional eating, but nonetheless, love is coming, whole Easter baskets of it.

Aries (March 21-April 18): Close down all of your devices, even your music players, even the clocks. Sit and see what you hear then, like the Quakers, like the birds. Be ready to witness or startle to flight.

Poetic License Horoscopes is a free syndicated series which appears weekly on such lit blogs as The Serotonin Factory, Critical Mass  and The Legendary  and Apiary If you are interested in adding the Poetic License Horoscopes to your lit journal / lit blog, please email me at

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