Last night I met with my spiritual advisor friend and she gave me some really encouraging advice. She said that from the way I talk about what I have and what I'm missing, it's possible that what I want is two primary relationships. She said a wife and a husband, and I'm not so sure about that, but it sure would explain the phantom straight family that's always kind of followed me around in my head.
So she said for the next month, my assignment is to research polyamory, which seems like a productive and festive way to use my kind-of-being-addicted-to-the-computer. She said to find nice pictures to look at of triads and quadrangles and so on, and find some poly romances to read. And she suggested that, since it's what I am, I might want to start thinking of poly as real and possible. What a relief to think that maybe I don't have to give anything up.
I picked this Big Love picture of Margene, Ana, and Bill because I couldn't find a good one of Margene, Ana, and Goran. There's this moment in the second-to-last season where Margene confesses to being attracted to her near-sisterwife's boyfriend, she tells them she feels like such an awful person. Ana tells her it's okay, they're all young and alive and it's okay to be attracted to each other. They all hug and snuggle and it was so nice to see her feel so accepted and loved. I always did wish Margene was real so she could come here and look at boys with me.
And here's a really happy song on the matter.
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