Friday, June 24, 2011

Poetic License Horoscope for June 24-30

Cancer (June 22-July 23): The Universe would like to recognize your outstanding achievement in the field of Surrealism, gift-giving, and mix making, and thank you for your ridiculously abundant music.

Leo (July 24-Aug. 23): Oh Leo, the stars can’t thank you enough, for your open ears, your meticulous care of household pets, your refusal to let anyone give up the ghost, your stubborn dedication, and your tears, misspent and otherwise.

Virgo (Aug. 24-Sept. 23): Your fortune cookie says “A golden investment opportunity is approaching. The stars humbly suggest that you invest in pajamas. Shop for pajamas the way that ladies in novels shop for lingerie; full of purpose and possibility. Soon you’ll be a soft, cuddly thing, trimmed in ribbons and lace.

Libra (Sept. 24-Oct. 21): “After all, my erstwhile dear, / my no longer cherished, / Need we say it wasn’t love/ Just because it perished?” (Edna St. Vincent Millay) The stars are writing mental thank-yous to all of our exes, post-crushes and even our miracle/mistakes for all they’ve taught us. We suggest you do the same.

Scorpio (Oct. 22-Nov. 22): Make a list of everything you’re afraid of, in every last excruciating detail. Don’t’ leave anything out. Then shred the pages and throw yourself a ticker tape parade, like the ones they used to have for returning astronauts. Welcome back.

Sagittarius (Nov. 23-Dec. 22): Thank you for all of the threads you’ve woven us, for the days you made us brave, for all of your assistance and important letters, for every confidence and shrug and insight- you are a miracle.

Capricorn (Dec. 23-Jan. 20): The stars would like to serve each of your recent exes a cup of It’s Not That Deep. We promise you a summer full of breezy comings and goings, more bubbles than kite strings, and a higher ratio of magic to negotiations.

Aquarius (Jan. 21-Feb. 19): “In a culture that’s built in twos, any relationship that has any life in it is generally regarded as an express train to couplehood.” (The Ethical Slut) But of course it doesn’t have to be that way. Make up names for all the many spaces between friendship and love. Use a Venn diagram if necessary.

Pisces (Feb. 20-March 20): (Meta-scope for a favorite friend.) I invented these horoscopes as a way to make it socially acceptable to write 12 love notes a week, but when I say, “I love you, you’re magic, and you know exactly what to do,” they absolutely could not be more real.

Aries (March 21-April 18): “Night has always pushed up day/ You must know life to see decay/ But I won't rot, I won't rot/ Not this mind and not this heart, / I won't rot.” (Mumford and Sons) Of course not, Aries, because summer’s the time for bloom and flourish, for having everything, which is what you (and the stars) insist on.


Taurus (April 19-May 18): “To everyone out there, who's a little different/ I say damn a magazine, these are gods fingerprints/ You can call me ugly but can't take nothing from me/ I am what I am doctor you ain't gotta love me.” (Brother Ali) Collect up all of the different kinds of beautiful and carry them in your pockets like lucky coins.


Gemini (May 19-June 21): Write this week on your skin and make it permanent. Remember every firefly, hydrangea petal and much-needed mango water ice. Everything’s so perfectly placed and timed and so, dear Gemini, are you.

Poetic License Horoscopes is a free syndicated series which appears weekly on such lit blogs as The Serotonin Factory, Critical Mass http://www.citypaper.net/blogs/criticalmass/POETIC-LICENSE-Horoscopes-April-29-May-5.html and The Legendary http://www.downdirtyword.com/horoscopespage and Apiary http://theapiarycorp.com/ If you are interested in adding the Poetic License Horoscopes to your lit journal / lit blog, please email me at serotoninfactory@gmail.com.

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