Thursday, June 30, 2011

Summer Mix Tape! Poetic License Horoscopes for July 1-7

Cancer (June 22-July 23): Say Please (Monsters of Folk): (Happy happy birthday to one of my very very favorite poetry friends in the entire universe, Daniel McGinn!) 1. You are the very best person ever and 2. The universe is big, waiting and overflowing with shiny things, bright frosted cookies, and dazzling handmade arts and crafts. All you ever have to do is ask.
Leo (July 24-Aug. 23): Home (Edward Sharpe and the Magnetic Zeroes): “Well, hot & heavy, pumpkin pie, chocolate candy, Jesus Christ, there ain’t nothin’ please me more than you.” Run around, snuggle, snooze, sing and hold hands on the beach with your best best friend in the whole wide world.
Virgo (Aug. 24-Sept. 23): Your Love is My Drug (Ke$ha): “So, I’ve got a question. Do you want to have a slumber party in my basement? Do I make your heart beat like an 808 drum?” Should you start to slouch towards timidity this summer, I want you to stop and think, “What would Ke$ha do?”

Libra (Sept. 24-Oct. 21): Doll Parts (Hole): You ARE the grrrl with the most cake, the gentleman with the most pudding, the kid with the most candy, the Agent Cooper with the most cherry pie. Things are just getting stickier and stickier.

Scorpio (Oct. 22-Nov. 22): All the Old Showstoppers (The New Pornographers): “And somebody beside you /Slipped your head inside the crown/ The princess of the paupers/ And all the old showstoppers/ Until this moment's still unknown.” Whatever luck sneaks up on you, it’ll come from delightful mixups, mistaken identities and your same old beloved songs.

Sagittarius (Nov. 23-Dec. 22): Helplessness Blues (Fleet Foxes): “And I don’t, I don’t know who to believe. I’ll get back to you someday soon, you’ll see.” Whatever you’re letting slip out of your hands, it isn’t forever, it isn’t lost, isn’t even a balloon with a tag tied to it with your address attached—much closer, much safer, much easier.

Capricorn (Dec. 23-Jan. 20): Whatever You Like (T.I.): The stars can’t stop putting this songs on mixes. We like to imagine T.I, as a drag king,  the shorty being promised something else entirely. There go the stars, telling on themselves again. You should be free to imagine wealth beyond private jets and Patron, all the way beyond to love and happiness.
Aquarius (Jan. 21-Feb. 19) Girls and Boys (Blur) “On sunny beaches/ Take your chances looking for /girls who are boys who like boys to be girls /who do boys like they're girls / who do girls like they're boys / always should be someone you really love.” I always thought that last part was kind of puritanical, but in your case, it’s probably true.

Pisces (Feb. 20-March 20): No Matter What (Badfinger): Please Google this song whenever you feel overwhelmed, whenever things are too gray, whenever you need to remember that your goofball friends are rooting for you every, every minute.

Aries (March 21-April 18): Neighborhood #1 (Tunnels) (Arcade Fire): This is more of a winter song, I guess, but I wanted to send it to you for the way you can alchemize a playlist, turn heartbreak headphones into gold. You would never need to build any tunnels—you’re warm enough to melt the snow.

Taurus (April 19-May 18): Up in the Dark (The New Pornographers): “We had secrets, but they’re spent. Always kept the lights on when the power went.” You and your electric friends know what love is better than most. Take time out of doubt to wonder and celebrate it.

Gemini (May 19-June 21): The Luckiest Guy on the Lower East Side (The Magnetic Fields): “Andy would bicycle across town in the rain to bring you/ candy and John would buy the gown for you to wear to the/ prom with Tom the astronomer who'd name a star for you/  But I'm the luckiest guy on the Lower East Side / cause I've got wheels and you want to go for a ride.” The stars will never run out of things to say about how generous our friends are, and neither, dear Gemini, will you.

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