How Did I Do on my 2022 Goals? (7-10)

 

7. Listen to my friends. I feel like I’ve come a long way! Quickly apologizing helped me keep getting closer to a dear, newish friend. A longtime friend reached out to ask me to coach him, and I asked if we could coach each other instead! That was one of the most fun, meaningful, and productive connections of this year or any year—I’m so glad I thought to make the coaching reciprocal!

But, a couple of friendships ran their course. Is that okay? Probably! It’s sad to let things go, but it’s also refreshing to realize that just as people get to stopping points with me, I can get to stopping points with them, too.

Anyway, I think I’m still a crappy friend sometimes, but I’ve made progress!

8. Malcolm Kenyatta for Senate: Volunteer twice per month. I could’ve done a lot more for Malcolm, but his campaign meant so much to me! I gave him a painting! I got interviewed for a documentary about him while stapling flowers to a piece of street art! I love Malcolm, and I’m sure I’ll have plenty of opportunities to nag people about this fave in the future!

9. Grow and save money every day. I was SO on my way to this one until I ran my mouth at that meet and greet—it’s hard not to think of my Mighty Writers ending as self-sabotage, though I’m not sure how I would have done it differently! (Except to have NOT GONE TO THE MEET AND GREET—what a weird and not-cute lesson to have learned!)

Dear money, I really do love you. Maybe I’ll figure out in 2023 how to get and keep you.

10. 1-2 hours of accounting weekly. It was more like an hour a month, I’m sorry to say! See #3 and #9. Accounting needs more love in 2023 for sure!

How Did I Do on My 2022 Goals?! (4-6)

4. Festive self-date weekly, flirt all the time!

Heck yeah and heck yeah! Since I’m an Artist’s Way person, I’m supposed to be taking myself on dates once a week anyway, but I often will skate by on, like, going half a block down the street to smell the candles at the co-op annex. Those still count, but this year, I wanted the self-dates to be special.

At first, it was hard. I was still brokenhearted from a romance that ended in mid-November. But I did it. I drove to the OUTER suburbs to see a matinee of Nightmare Alley. It felt grim and lonely, not just because I’d chosen a superbleak movie!

But after a couple of months, I was driving along to wherever and I just thought “I love you.” In my head! TO MYSELF! I was dreamily stopping to take a sunset picture in the Movie Tavern parking lot on the way to see The Black Phone. Equally bleak movie, way-less-bleak heart!

Self-dates make the world feel more open, generous, and playful. One movie night even led to a second-chance love adventure! Two, actually, but those are stories for another blog.

I try to make fresh goals every year, but maybe this one needs to be every year, right underneath “Make stuff whenever I want.”

5. Cultivate my Mighty Writers relationships. This one backfired so badly that “Don’t go to the meet & greet” is one of my guidelines for 2023. Still a heartbreak I just can’t find words for.

6. Two hours Kahn Academy math weekly. Yep! I mastered 7^th grade math and I’m halfway through 8^th grade math! I got to change my car magnet tutoring ads from K-6 to K-7! Adding a math grade is a pretty big deal, actually! I’m pretty excited about it.

How Did I Do on My 2022 Goals? (1-3)

How Did I Do on My 2022 Goals?! (1-3)

 

1.     Make stuff whenever I want!

This should be on the list every year forever! It’s both the easiest goal and the source of the most uncomplicated joy. I especially like being petty and low-key at- war with whatever creepy neighborhood busybody keeps taking my “Protect Trans Kids” watercolors down—sometimes I even make them into glitter bombs.

Note: I’m probably a neighborhood busybody too! But for GOOD!

 

2.     Keep up and ramp up fitness routines.

(If you hate food restriction talk and “wellness” talk like I often do, go listen to Maintenance Phase https://www.maintenancephase.com/ instead of reading this. It’s the best!)

Pretty good, I guess! I changed some food habits that were bugging me but no doubt added some other unhelpful ones. Oh well!

I always want to walk more, but making long Instagram stories and posts of nature pics has helped me stay motivated, especially since I have a really inspiring muse these days! See #1—creativity is the ultimate source of happiness.

I would like to go back to semi-regular in-person yoga classes in 2023! I stopped because of quarantine and forgot to ever start up again!

OMG I went dancing!!! Like 3 times! Plus to a couple of rock shows! One was in a basement! One was in a go-go club I’ve wanted to visit since I moved here in 2008! I’ve taken good care of friendships with my dancingest friends this year, so maybe I can go 5 or 6 times next year?!

3.     Be 20% less dependent on Amy.

Technically yes. I’ve gotten emotional needs met in other friendships and bonded with my supercute boyfriend! I’ve moved on from my nine-years-divorced relationship in some really significant ways, including settling into a comfortable and celebratory place with our friendship. (Reading Ace helped me see beyond expected relationship structures! https://libro.fm/audiobooks/9780807013922-ace) I’d almost call us Queer Platonic Partners, but the word “partners” seems a little strong.)

But moneywise, I’m still dependent on my ex-wife/BFF. I felt SO CLOSE to money independence going into the 22/23 school year, but when my Mighty Writers gig crashed and burned at the same time my rent went up (A lot!) I kinda lost my way again.

I really need to add about16 work hours a month, fix my budget, and build my savings back up. Amy and I will always be there for each other, but I want to take better care of HER! And myself!

 

Wonderful September, Self-Care October

I can't BELIEVE how productive September was! My business calendar is full of clients and my neighborhood is full of art. Some of those "mini-workouts" were even snuggles! Gasp!!

I sometimes wonder if it would be better to dial out of the daily adventures of fellow American rape survivors, but I don't know if that's possible. So I'm piling on the self-care and hoping for the best. The OK Cupid checkmarks seem the most daunting, but I'm sure they'll be worth it. 

Thanks June! And Blue Hearts for July

Maybe Spring is Real?! April Checkmarks and Lilac-y May Goals

Pssst! If you like these goal sheets, you can subscribe and get your own, made just for you, at my Patreon page! https://www.patreon.com/serotoninfactory

Happy May!

March Checkmarks, Hopeful April Goals

A Million January Checkmarks, Easy February Goals

A Million October Checkmarks, Happy November Goals!

Theme and Wishes for Age 43

            I thought about going with “flawless,” but I just like flaws so much. For the past week or so, my intention in every meditation session has been “I’m celebrating my life,” and I have been. I’m so glad to be here. I woke up, in a healthy body and an often-happy heart. I’m here. Most of the time, I’m pretty sure that I exist, and that’s a big change for me. I want to keep being here wholeheartedly, keep celebrating. How lucky we are to be alive right now was another good option. I’m so thankful every day that I woke up like this.

            My political wishes for the coming year are many, of course, though right now DACAis heaviest on my heart. My personal wishes are simple: more money and more snuggles.  The money part seems less mystifying—as soon as I finish grad school in December, I’ll be free to build up my tutoring clientele. But the snuggle part, as always, is a mystery. I’ve written out my ideal mate a thousand times, but what I wish for is fairly simple: someone warm and funny to take walks with. If by some miracle he voted Hillary in the 2016 primary, all the better. I have some guilt about hoping to be with someone masculine-identified (this misguided ex-wife loyalty runs deep) but I do.

August Checkmarks, Birthday Month Goals

Summer of Softness Goals, Cont'd

May Checkmarks, Rainbowy June Goals

Very Mediationy April and May Goals

A Very Fulfilling February, Flowery March Goals

January Checkmarks, Heartfelt February Goals

December Checkmarks, Magical January Goals

Bye November, Hope for December

November was a month that included a panic-inducing election, a near-relationship-thing that (predictably, it seems) turned to heartbreak, and an almost-total Thanksgiving fail in my part. I hope I can get unlost in December, I'll do my best.

Happy Goals for an Activist Summer

This has been a different kind of summer. While my arm heals, I've been skittish about swimming, so the beach hasn't dominated my life the way it usually does. Luckily, it's a great time to find all kinds of meaning volunteering for the Democrats and marching/vigiling for all kinds of change. I wish there were a lot less vigiling, but I feel lucky to have a chance to stand up for people when I can.

Yay April Checkmarks, Sooothing May Goals